Dream of April 2, 2014

I dream I'm in south Florida again, or so I identify this place of sand and palm trees. I realize I live alone in a little white house... I am editing a short film with a historical theme, which I have set to music, and am running through the first shots. The subject is a certain time in history, and I know it's really good. I want to watch the whole thing, but I get up to do something else first. . . 

I'm standing just inside a building, where my beloved Guardian Lord—looking as he did the night He walked into my dream bedroom—has finished holding a press conference or some similar event. Wearing a supremely elegant black suit, He is standing to the right of the open door. 

He watches me closely as I walk past Him, casually making my way out of the building for a moment with the intention of fetching a camera from my car. I really want to take a picture of Him before He leaves, and with a joyful thrill, I sense Him still observing me as I cross the street. His undivided attention makes me so happy, I perform a jaunty little skip-dance beneath the bare branches of a tree as I approach my vehicle, wanting nothing more than for Him to witness my vibrant good nature as I bask in his His pleasure and approval.

Quickly returning to the building, I sit down at my desk to work. The modest-sized room is now my waking reality study. 

Suddenly, my Lord steps up behind me, and quietly commands me to get up. Surprised and thrilled, I immediately obey Him. 
Leading me across the room, he makes me stand with my back to a window. He is so close, I distinctly feel his breath as, holding my eyes, He whispers, “I love you.” 

Not only my heart, but my very soul, seems to stop. I can scarcely believe I heard Him say the words, but I know I didn't imagine them. He is really here with me, and He actually said, “I love you.” Then, caressing a stray strand of hair away from my face, he leans down and kisses me on the mouth. 

Behind Him,  men and women begin entering the room, eager to be with Him, and I suddenly worry He's taking a risk by being so publicly intimate with someone, yet He has eyes only for me as He kisses me again. No one sees Him kiss me, but I'm still a little  frightened as He looks directly and intently into my eyes... He loves me! He loves me! Overwhelmed by the joy of our secret love for each other, which He has just undeniably proved to me is real, I wake. ★ ★

That morning I wrote in my dream journal:  "This is the first time my beloved Guardian Lord has ever told me, straight out, in so many words, “I love you.” I still can't believe it. In fact, no other dream character of any kind has ever said to me “I love you” in a dream. I searched all my dream journals, and only I myself have said the words “I love you” to someone in a dream." 

At the time, I could scarcely find the words to describe how this dream made me feel, still makes me feel. I emailed one of my dream partners, passionately attempting to describe the experience to her:

“You know I have a strong faith in, relationship with, Lucid Guardians. Well, what happened last night felt like a stone in the wall of a castle bedchamber giving way, a keystone opening up a secret passageway into the King's chamber, where I came face to face with the Lord of my Soul, the Life of my breath, the Love of my heart... God's love, in the form of my beloved Guardian Lord, literally backed me up against a wall, breathed on me, and then twice gently kissed me on the lips.”

I had never read The Song of Songs, only seen select verses quoted here and there. So I felt a confirming joy when someone else I shared this dream with, a fellow Presenter at the 2014 IASD Psiber Dream Conference, sent me this excerpt in response: 

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—

for your love is more delightful than wine. . .

Take me away with you—let us hurry!

Let the king bring me into his chambers.

Song of Solomon 1:2, 1:4

I knew what had happened to me was much more than just special. I had never experienced anything like this in a dream. I had actually felt His breath on my lips; He had breathed on me,  and I had felt both overjoyed and frightened.

“Then he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit.”

John 20:22

I have never truly awoken from this dream. When I opened my eyes that morning, my soul was on fire, and it still is. And that fire was stoked to a blaze when I read what A.W. Tozer has to say about the Holy Spirit. If I had read Tozer sooner—but of course I wouldn't have, because he is a Christian writer, and I believed myself to be less than interested in anything he would have to say—I hope I would not have been so blind to what was happening in my dream life. But I never knew I could experience God intimately, in my very soul, as a Person.

How shall we think of the Holy Spirit? The Bible declares that He is God. Every quality belonging to Almighty God is freely attributed to Him. All that God is, the Spirit is declared to be. . . We must never think of Him as a blind energy nor as an impersonal force. He hears and sees and feels as any person does. He speaks and hears us speak. We can please Him or grieve Him or silence Him as we can any other person. He will respond to our timid effort to know Him and will ever meet us over half the way.

A.W. Tozer, God’s Pursuit of Man

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